fear

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown~

Fear of loss has always been a big issue in my life. I have, only recently, begun to shed that fear. I came to the realization that nothing is permanent. People leave, things get loss, feelings ebb. Once the thing that I held so dearly to is lost though, I see the futility of all the anxiety, the heartburn over keeping it. I start looking for and finding ways of living without it. And the human mind and spirit, amazingly resilient as they are, discover reasons and conviction for why I am better off without that which is now lost. I have come to the understanding that I will never truly enjoy the finer intricacies of the things and/or people that I hold dear if I spend my time concentrating on keeping them rather than concentrating on the value of their presence in my life. 

This change in me has brought on a knew feeling, a feeling of courageousness.  Fear is a necessary evil, for without fear there is no courage. Courage is not only necessary when in a battle , it is needed in all aspects of life. It takes courage for each and everyone of us to simply get out of bed each morning. We have the choice of simply pulling the covers over our head and hiding from the day. Instead, though, we swing our legs over the edge of the bed, stand up and face it. The courage that we muster each morning is what gets us through the day. Some days we face bigger battles than others, and some days we go to bed thankful that it was relatively calm.

Each time I now feel myself fearing something, whether it be losing something or someone, trying something new, or moving in a direction I never thought I would go; I simply think of the worst that can happen, accept that as something that may or may not occur and move on. Fear can not rule our lives, but it can be used to help us live them. 

cannot

cannot [ˈkænɒt kæˈnɒt]

vb

an auxiliary verb expressing incapacity, inability, withholding permission, etc.; can not

 

"Cannot" is a terribly powerful feeling, oppressive and smothering. Running up against the wall of fear and resistance, fenced in by what we will not, can not, or should not do, the world becomes a smaller place.

I cannot lose weight

I cannot get a job

I cannot decide

I cannot help

We have a tendency to preclude the things that we want to do with the word cannot. If it even slightly seems unattainable we simply dismiss it with a small vocabulary term. But what if we decided that we could?

What if, instead of dismissing the things that we want, we took hold of them and ran. The one thing that we cannot do is rely on hope, luck, or faith alone. We have a lot more control over our destiny than what most people believe. We make choices and take actions that effect the end result. Hope alone is not enough. The word HOPE is similar to the word TRY. When a person says they are going to TRY and do something it sets them up for failure. You don't try and do something. You either do it or you don't. The same goes for hope. You either HOPE something will happen, or you make it happen.

In my own life, I can keep hoping that I will get a job, I can have faith that one morning I will wake up skinny, and I can believe that my luck will change and I will win the lottery. Through all of this hope, faith, and luck, though, I am sitting on my behind being idle, gaining weight, not looking for a job and waisting money. Instead, I spend each day looking for a job, spend hours reading through want ads, writing cover letters and making phone calls. I still hold on to hope, hope that one of these leads will turn into gainful employment. I have started eating better and exercising more, working towards waking up skinny. I have begun putting money away and paying closer attention to what I spend it on, and still budget buying a lottery ticket now and again.

I guess what I am saying is that a life without action leads to nothing. If you are not doing the things that need to be done to get what you want you are doing nothing. Doing nothing leads to nothing, if you keep it up that is what you will get.

thinking

Eugene, Oregon

Anyone who's been to Eugene can tell you that's there's no where like it on earth. Nestled in the southern portion of Oregon's famous Willamette Valley, Eugene is a haven for those who love the convenience of a large metropolitan city, yet enjoy the laid-back, cozy atmosphere of a smaller town.

Known as "The World's Greatest City of the Arts and Outdoors," Eugene is well-known for its abundance of green trees, blooming flowers, rushing river paths and more. Home to the University of Oregon, Eugene is the quintessential college town, filled with proud Duck alumni, adopted fans and plenty of history (after all, the movie "Animal House" was filmed in Eugene).

Ready to see what we mean? Experience a bit of Eugene right now by taking a look at our online photo tour.

Eugene Events
With a population of 148,595, Eugene is the largest city in Lane County and a hub for many annual festivals, concerts, sporting events and more.  In 2008, "Track Town, USA" once again hosted the U.S. Olympic Team Trials - Track & Field at historic Hayward Field and will host the Trials in 2012.

Eugene Activities
One thing you must know about Eugene: with so much to see and do, you'll never be bored! Check out one of our many museums and galleries, or enjoy the city's numerous performing arts venues and groups. The taste of locally made Pinot noir and Pinot gris await you at more than a dozen wineries and vineyards. Or, relax in the serenity of  Eugene's 133 diverse city parks, including some of the region's largest playgrounds.

Eugene Recreation
Eugene is a paradise for those who love to get up and move in its beautiful, natural surroundings. Recreational activities like cycling and running are more than just casual pastimes in Oregon's "Emerald City"; they're a way of life! Plus, Eugene's proximity to the lush McKenzie River Valley, the majestic Cascade Mountains and the breathtaking Oregon Coast make it the perfect recreation destination to share with family and friends.

Eugene Shopping
Whether you're looking for a gift for a special someone, or a little something for yourself, you're bound to find it here. From locally owned specialty stores, art galleries and artisan markets, to antique shops, bookstores and so much more, Eugene has all the shopping options you need and want (and a few you never would've imagined).

Eugene Hotels & Dining
Once you're in Eugene, you'll see that one day just isn't enough time. No problem! We have a wide range of lodging options to fit your needs and budget, including Eugene hotels and motels, bed & breakfast inns, extended stay establishments, vacation rentals, RV parks and hostels.

one is the lonliest number

Maybe. . .we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel
that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe. . .giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy


Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

a new day

Silent Whispers of A New Day

Muted sighs in the sunset
Heard softly upon prayers
Ascending from broken souls

The wind moans a sad refrain
Recalling the times of joy
Now but a distant memory

Listen closely to whispered drums
Composing song in the silence
Piercing this present darkness

Smoke spiraling upward
Stings the eyes and spirit
White plume reaching skyward

Grandmother Earth still harbors
Unrealized dreams of her people
Old Ones await the promised day

my lover boy